Do you wonder if it’s time for couples therapy? You know it could help your relationship, but you haven’t taken the next step and picked up the phone. It just hasn’t made it to your to-do list yet.
It’s never a bad time for good couples therapy. The average couple in therapy waits 6 years longer than they should to start couples therapy. Here are some signs that signing up for couples therapy should go to the top of your list now.
You’re having the same arguments over and over again.
You’re having the same argument in different outfits. You find yourself saying similar things every time you argue, and your partner is too. It’s common to notice that your partner is repeating themselves way before you realize you are too. You’ve developed a communication pattern together, and you’re inadvertently setting each other off.
An experienced couples therapist can help you understand what’s keeping you stuck in that pattern. They can guide you through the conversations you need to have so that you break your negative pattern.
You’re not having sex, or you’re not having as much sex as you’d like.
If your sex life matters to you and it has gone into hiding, a couples therapist can help you figure out why sex has left the building and help you invite it back in.
Sometimes issues not directly related to sex are hurting your sex life. Feelings like resentment, anger or hurt get in the way of desire. When you solve the issues causing those feelings, sex often returns. Other times, you need help talking directly about your sex life and finding ways to meet both of your needs in joyful and satisfying ways. Talking to a sex positive therapist who leads couples through these conversations every day can be comforting and helpful.
You’re recovering from a betrayal.
When you’re facing infidelity or another kind of betrayal, it’s scary! An experienced couples therapist can guide you through a process of healing and forgiveness. Without guidance, you’re at risk of missing out on that process. Don’t settle for a relationship that’s weaker than it used to be or lower the standards of how great you expect to feel together. Couples therapy can help you build a new relationship together that’s strong and secure.
Most healthy and happy couples have conflict, but if you’re bickering most days, consider getting some help. According to research from the Gottman Institute, couples need to have at least 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction in order to stay happy and satisfied over the long haul. The happiest couples have a much higher ratio. Don’t let negative interactions build up and erode your bond. Couples therapy can give you tools and help you create healthier communication habits.
You’ve got a difficult decision to make
If you’re deciding whether to move, whether to have a child, how to handle parents who need care, whether to make a big career change, or struggling with any big decision, couples therapy can help. Your therapist won’t take sides or tell you what to do, but they can guide you through conversations to help you both feel heard and understood. In couples therapy you can get everything out on the table and then work through your decision with love and respect.
You’re with the love of your life
If you’re with the person you want to stick with, couples therapy can make your relationship even more solid. Lots of couples work with us when things are going well because they want to nurture their relationships. Learn tools and rituals to strengthen what’s already great. Some folks come see us for premarital counseling, and others come to us for 10, 20 or 30 year anniversary check-ups.
No one’s ever told us they wished they’d waited longer to schedule an appointment.
Ready to find an experienced couples therapist who’s right for you? Call us at (415) 534-4051.