If you’ve had an affair, you’ve noticed that there’s a lot of sympathy for your partner, and not a whole lot for you.
When you start couples counseling, you might be afraid that you’re going to be judged there too. If you work with a highly trained and experienced therapist who has a lot of experience with couples, that isn’t going to happen. We’ve worked with every kind of couple, and we know that this is a hard time for both of you.
Your partner is in pain, and you are too. We get that.
Here are some of the things that might be happening for you.
You’re hurting because you feel terribly about what you’ve done. Intrusive feelings of guilt or shame are with you throughout the day.
You miss your affair partner. If the affair was a relationship and not just a one-night stand, you may feel some heartache about giving that relationship up. That’s not a feeling that you can easily talk about, but it’s understandable.
You feel like your partner is punishing you. Your partner feels hurt and betrayed, and perhaps they are shutting you out. Perhaps you’re facing a lot of their anger.
You feel hopeless and worry that you’ll never be able to repair things. Nothing you say seems to help, and you’re starting to believe that your partner will never forgive you.
There is hope after an affair.
We’ve guided couples just like you through a healing process. Our own Lara Ezrin, MFT, says that not only can couples stay together; they can create a new and better relationship together. In a sense, your old relationship is over after an affair, but you have a chance to build a new one together with strengths the old one didn’t have.
If it’s time to heal your relationship, we can help. We’re a group of experienced couples therapists in San Francisco. Call us at (415) 534-4051 or schedule a free and confidential phone consultation with one of us right now. It’s time to feel better. Starting now.