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Highly Sensitive People in Love

As a couples therapist, I talk a lot about people having different communication styles, and different fighting styles.  Usually I explain this in terms of some people having a higher tolerance for volatility in arguments than others. Highly sensitive people tend to fall on the far end of this continuum.  If you are a highly…

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Compassion in Relationships

Showing compassion and patience for your partner and loved ones is a powerful ingredient to making those relationships last and flourish. Tapping into our human compassion makes life better. We’re living in a culture that values getting things done and getting to where we’re going quickly. This video shows compassion in action, and it reminds…

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John Gottman's Book: What Makes Love Last?

I am excited about John Gottman’s new book, What Makes Love Last? He focuses in this book on the most distressed couples, people who have suffered through affairs and other betrayals. His work is always research based, and here he draws on his work with over 4 decades of couples. Why do some couples recover…

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In Couples Communication, Are You a Pursuer or a Withdrawer?

In the field of Couples Therapy, we often talk about “pursuers” and “withdrawers.” Many of us can identify with both of those roles at different times. Basically, if you find yourself amping up your behavior in arguments or in times of disconnection, you might be identified as a pursuer. If you find yourself shutting down…

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